Devotions and...

Right now it was 2.30am and I am waiting for someone’s message before I could get myself be asleep in a thoroughly condition. 

The same feelings came across me when I started to login my blogger account and my favorite enthrall music – Emmanuel and We Belongs Together had repeatedly played while I was about to create a new post.

Well obviously it is raining heavily outside, I am having a cup of hot chocolate as soon as I am about to continue my new post.

My mood has considerably change each and every time when the weather is rainy and I am looking outside from the window that portrayed everywhere is misty and wet whereas the sound of raindrops slowly turned me into the state of anesthetized with its fussing mood which makes me feel so sick of doing everything.

Right now, I wish I could have a walk around the garden while it's raining,

possibly I am not able to accept the facts that the distance between us had gone further than what I have thought.
While I was walking, my tears inadvertently mingled with the rains,
I was shouting towards the sky and asked, why would I ever be in love with you?
How many pain and misery do I need to undergo before I could reach myself to you?

It is the same bore rigid questions when I was asking about myself, am I doing this for your sake?
What would you feel if I have putting my friends more important than you?

Same goes to what I felt to this person,
for each and every second, Can’t you feel the love between us is getting stronger and enduring throughout these months?

Your scent has gradually gone in my heart, it was a sweet and warmhearted essences that would cheer me up when I am having trouble to deal with…

Although I was opposed to accept your arrogances and manners,
but I have to stop lying to myself that you have definitely stayed…

| Will Be Continued |

| Is it worth for waiting? |

I will always remember what happened on today's occasion.
Today we were supposed to have our dinner together and later on we have planned to get a wifi wireless connectivity broadband. Everything has been scheduled by me earlier when I am having my lecture class.

Certainly, some unlikable cases happened and we quarrelled because of some small matters. Although I portrayed the state of unruffled condition in front of her, in fact I truly care about how she feels and I always wanted her to be happy during the time when we were both together. When the moment her face turned into a wrath-appearing angel, I knew that it gives me the impression of frightening and disquieting about what I have did earlier that could lead to such a nasty consummation of dating.

Despite of this, I do care so much about her,
The moment when she was depressed, I wish I could give her a tight hug…
The moment when she needs to be accompanied, I would like to volunteer myself to be the first person who listen to her troubles and being caring to her.

Why is this happening to me? I can live happily without bearing with all these worries and being upset at any time without any reasons. I have had enough with this kind of feeling. I did not ask for any returns of everything that I have did for you, perhaps there is a simple thing that you can do it for me – appreciate and treasure the moment when we were both together.

Maintaining and keeping up this relationship is much harder than what I have expected earlier, but I will not give up easily. This song – Emmanuel has precipitated it's beginnings...

Will be continued…

anticipating -| Myself |-

I was waiting for your calls, messages and replies from messenger.
Every time when I feel upset, I will be listening to Mariah’s we belongs together.
The lyric of this song is meaningful and it heartrending me when I was listening to it.

I have never had such a deep soreness in my heart…
I remembered that day when you were so busy and you couldn’t be bothered to reply me…
When I gone back home, looking at the disgruntled monitor screen and waiting for you to start a conversation with me… Because of this, I’ve been upsetting and feeling miserable for whole day without any reason. I just got myself to bed and try to avoid all the misery feelings but it is not working. 
The moment when I woke up, I guess your message would never appeared on the forsaken screen and I unremittingly thinking of you and the undesirable state of mind is approaching me again… How nice if I have not got up and everything’s remained calm as what I’ve dreamed…

I am not demanding you for doing everything for me,
I am not expecting you for any outgoing activities,
but…
I do hope that you have positioned me into your heart as the first person you would ever tell or sharing anything with…

How nice if you could…