Monday 9 July 2012
Inconsequential outcomes
In an insignificant jiffy, the whole world is revolving but I am plainly standing still in a static position whereas everyone surrounding me are progressing their achievements and goals. It’s been about a couple of months I have not updated the blog, it seems like the blank column has been deserted and left out for quite some time already. Today I shall draw out some time to update some particulars or any information regarding to the partial matters or occurrences I am dealing with lately.
Lately I am emotionally overwhelmed and feeling uneasy at all time may be due to some reasons which relates to friendship, studies and indubitably the stress that I am currently dealing with.
*Yawning* I am going to sleep now. To be continued…
Sunday 25 March 2012
perplexed puzzles...
Oh well, it’s been 2 months. Again and again…
In a split second… everything seems to be so real yet so virtual. It’s been like unceasing gyrations on a small round disk… it merely crash me if I refused to stay stop at a fix point and insisted to be innocent to step into the deep perilous hole where it seems to be so alluring though. It repeated exactly what happened at last year, still I thought I am strong enough to cope with the challenges and tough enough to deal with all sorts of distressing matters… nonetheless, it’s not as easy as saying or just plainly ‘think’ of all sort of methods to deal with in within your capability. I have no idea why those good feelings we had in the past were still compelling me to be certain of reassemble back the old days we shared, we devoted and we gradually built together even though it was not easy…
I regret what I did in past, how I wish there is a time machine that allows me to travel back to the prodigious moments where nothing is needed to be with us, just simply you and me and that’s practically more than anything I ever wanted so badly… I should not meet you lately because I knew I will be having rough time after seeing you, you are the only one that could vigorously affects my mood… an austere word of yours could merely does impact to me either it is going to be encouragement or the intolerable ones.
Sadly, I couldn’t tell how much I miss you, how hurtful those word you spoken to me… It is really tough and upset when someone’s pretending as there’s nothing happened before in between us. I hate the feeling of hiding something; certainly it is mendacious and spurious by doing so. In fact I have no choice and I can’t reveal the past feelings any longer where it appears to be so strong by continually connecting my emotion towards the incomprehensible matters.
All these while I have nothing to blame on but to myself, I hate myself by doing so – It’s been a while I have not experience discomfort and feeling uneasy, it makes me feel so numb to undergo such occurrence again. It’s been like a moment when I am in a bus ride, everything that I’ve seen from outside – the views, the entities and colors were gradually reflects me with different perspectives in life.
I guess it is not important anymore, I just can’t think of it someday I will be meeting you again and all these disoriented feelings are back to me and how am I supposed to deal with it again? The video on the bottom – didn’t we almost have it clearly describes how I felt, how the feeling connects me to an unexplainable state of affairs and one’s intense moment.
From today onward... I am...
Tuesday 31 January 2012
disarrayed fragments which seems to be trifling at the moment...
It’s exactly a month just set off since the previous update. Well everything seems as more often than not; though, I’ve 'set up' few guidelines and principles for myself as I’ve enrolled into degree level 2, chosen computing forensic as my degree major for the upcoming 2years+.
Well I guess I’ve chosen this course due to my strong determinative personalities and an actual resilient intuitiveness that I had since I was young, I guess these skills deliberately develops the inner peculiar me well… nothing's extraordinary though…
It’s good to treat other people nicely in such a way you don’t really expect anything in return. In spite of this, certain people they tend to be taking others for granted and in a factual stack of ingots, they have forgotten everyone has their own predetermined limit.. it was merely wreck as they may not know it may consequence to one’s catastrophe once the limit’s outstripped and it could virtually reflects the actual irritability of a person towards to those irresponsible and inconsiderate wacky nuts. Think of it, just felt I’ve did so much and put my absolute devotions on organizing stuffs, treat everyone equally nice (P/S I am not saying myself as a nice person or an outstandingly charisma person, I entertain whoever who’s relevant and meant a lot to me, I sincerely treasured those who I found faithfulness and dependability which was veiled…(Not those who’s pretentiously fake and manipulative tho), and I tried my best to done almost everything in my capability as I promised to my friends, perhaps it’s really heartbreaking to look at people who just couldn’t see the importance of responsibility and taking others for granted. Never ever… and I meant it, Never ever taking people for granted, it’s really tiring to oversee the entities which seems to be the same, no changes upon few chances that has been given therefore I am bored with it – would never bother anymore… don’t you ever and ever condemned a statement as “you have changed, what’s happening to you… etc…”, you yourself knows better than that and I am utterly done with it, no doubt perhaps a few years ago promises meant nothing to me and I used to be taking people for granted, making empty promises etc.. as I have grown older, I learnt from the mistakes I made from the past and embrace mistakes as life’s lessons. Do figure it out by yourself.
Let’s talk about promises and reliabilities.
We make a promise upon our own competency; it’s unscrupulous to break promises as you may lead to one’s disappointment and losing trust on you. Do it by your own will, if you don’t want to proceed please do not make any empty promises. (Don’t do it just for the sake of the needs by temporarily entertaining someone or just for the sake of promising.) Reliability simply refers to the capability of something which unsurprisingly allows people to put hope in and depending on it to achieve better results or etc… it’s easy to make promises to other people as you knew once you broke it it may…
I guess I should stop here and to those who’s relevant to these, do spend some time, think and try to figure it out by yourself. I said it because I meant it, not because I wanted a compliment in return and you’re no longer a kid you should know what you’re doing. I am not putting a blame on anyone who's related to what I mentioned, by right you should know better than this… (I do not want to waste my time by repeating …)
Do listen to this song, listen to lyric carefully, it’s meaningful to me and everyone I guess – that’s what friends are for. I adore and literally was impressed by these legendary artists - Whitney Houston, Dionne Warwick, Stevie Wonder, Luther Vandross, each of them was passionately singing such an evocative song and belted out those beautiful high notes where these notes instinctively connects our emotions to the song.
I will probably isolate myself for several weeks, I guess I really need to calm myself and I do not want to bother anything at this moment which distresses me as I have to focus on... Think carefully, these small matters would eventually drowns you if you ...
Well I guess I’ve chosen this course due to my strong determinative personalities and an actual resilient intuitiveness that I had since I was young, I guess these skills deliberately develops the inner peculiar me well… nothing's extraordinary though…
It’s good to treat other people nicely in such a way you don’t really expect anything in return. In spite of this, certain people they tend to be taking others for granted and in a factual stack of ingots, they have forgotten everyone has their own predetermined limit.. it was merely wreck as they may not know it may consequence to one’s catastrophe once the limit’s outstripped and it could virtually reflects the actual irritability of a person towards to those irresponsible and inconsiderate wacky nuts. Think of it, just felt I’ve did so much and put my absolute devotions on organizing stuffs, treat everyone equally nice (P/S I am not saying myself as a nice person or an outstandingly charisma person, I entertain whoever who’s relevant and meant a lot to me, I sincerely treasured those who I found faithfulness and dependability which was veiled…(Not those who’s pretentiously fake and manipulative tho), and I tried my best to done almost everything in my capability as I promised to my friends, perhaps it’s really heartbreaking to look at people who just couldn’t see the importance of responsibility and taking others for granted. Never ever… and I meant it, Never ever taking people for granted, it’s really tiring to oversee the entities which seems to be the same, no changes upon few chances that has been given therefore I am bored with it – would never bother anymore… don’t you ever and ever condemned a statement as “you have changed, what’s happening to you… etc…”, you yourself knows better than that and I am utterly done with it, no doubt perhaps a few years ago promises meant nothing to me and I used to be taking people for granted, making empty promises etc.. as I have grown older, I learnt from the mistakes I made from the past and embrace mistakes as life’s lessons. Do figure it out by yourself.
Let’s talk about promises and reliabilities.
We make a promise upon our own competency; it’s unscrupulous to break promises as you may lead to one’s disappointment and losing trust on you. Do it by your own will, if you don’t want to proceed please do not make any empty promises. (Don’t do it just for the sake of the needs by temporarily entertaining someone or just for the sake of promising.) Reliability simply refers to the capability of something which unsurprisingly allows people to put hope in and depending on it to achieve better results or etc… it’s easy to make promises to other people as you knew once you broke it it may…
I guess I should stop here and to those who’s relevant to these, do spend some time, think and try to figure it out by yourself. I said it because I meant it, not because I wanted a compliment in return and you’re no longer a kid you should know what you’re doing. I am not putting a blame on anyone who's related to what I mentioned, by right you should know better than this… (I do not want to waste my time by repeating …)
Do listen to this song, listen to lyric carefully, it’s meaningful to me and everyone I guess – that’s what friends are for. I adore and literally was impressed by these legendary artists - Whitney Houston, Dionne Warwick, Stevie Wonder, Luther Vandross, each of them was passionately singing such an evocative song and belted out those beautiful high notes where these notes instinctively connects our emotions to the song.
I will probably isolate myself for several weeks, I guess I really need to calm myself and I do not want to bother anything at this moment which distresses me as I have to focus on... Think carefully, these small matters would eventually drowns you if you ...
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